Wait, so you’re not a lesbian?
I want to start this post by clarifying that I have absolutely nothing against lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, whatever. As long as you’re happy and I’m happy, I don’t really care what a person is.
Ok, I’m totally aware I’m not the representation of femininity or have ever been. You can say I was a tomboy while growing up. And I kinda stayed that way. But I’m not exactly a tomboy now. What the hell am I?
I have a condition that most girls don’t have. I hate shopping, I hate and I have no idea how to apply makeup, I hate wearing heels, or even better, I can’t wear heels unless people want me to look like a baby giraffe learning how to walk, I hate all that preparation regular girls have as norm. When I wake up in the morning I take about 10 minutes to get ready. I’ll put on some jeans or shorts, a basic t-shirt and my Chuck Taylors and I’m ready. This is also what I do when I go out at night. I never understood all the prepping up ritual. While I usually sit at my laptop watching an entire season of Arrested Development, my girlfriends are choosing the perfect dress and then comes the ultimate problem: what shoes to wear. See, I don’t even have that problem because I only have sneakers to choose from! And then it’s makeup time. That is just witchcraft to me. I can’t even put on mascara. This next image sums up what I’m trying to say.
That’s me on the left. All the time. At class at 8 am or at a dinner at a fancy place. I just don’t care about how I look.
But now this is starting to be kind of a problem. Because I’m not feminine, plus I’m super tall (I don’t know if the stereotype is that lesbians are tall), a lot of people have been asking me that question. And it’s not a problem in the sense that I have a problem with lesbians, it’s a problem because if girls are asking me if I’m a lesbian then boys might think the same. If guys think the same I have a problem. But dudes, I like you!
I’m literally checking on guys all the time. I don’t approach them because you know, previous post, but I’m checking you male human beings out. I comment on guys, out loud, all the time. You can see how I react around attractive guys. I’m pretty much a girl version of a dude! Ok I start to see how this can be misleading….
But for real now, I’m just a dude girl and if that makes me a lesbian, I’m the straightest lesbian there is. But just in case, I might start watching some make up tutorials.