Not all women want to be mothers

Society says that I have to have kids, I say I don’t want to. 

Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in Portugal. Contrary to the States, we celebrate it on the first Sunday of May. I always had a problem with made up holidays but this one particularly bugs me. I never wanted to become a mother and because of that people think they have the right to lecture me.

I grew up as an only child until I was 9. My parents were constantly working and I didn’t spend that much time with them while growing up so I had to learn how to entertain myself. I would play alone with my Barbie dolls and watch Disney movies for hours. I was an easy and calm kid and I didn’t require a lot of attention. And then my baby sister was here. I quickly became her second mother because I was grown up and able to help my mom with everything she needed. I used to change diapers, feed her, play with her, pretty much everything since I was 10. When I was 15 I wanted to do what all 15 year olds do. And I could do it with only one exception, I had to take my sister with me. If I wanted to go the the mall my 6 year old sister had to go with me and the same would happen if I go to the beach. I was a mom at the age 10 and I still am today. I believe that’s one of the reasons I never wanted to have my own children. I know first hand how much work and responsibility it takes to be a mom.

Every time this topic comes in conversation I’m criticized. People say I shouldn’t say I don’t want kids, that there are a lot of people who want kids and can’t have their own and so long. How is that my problem? Just because I was born with a vagina I’m forced to pop out kids? Did I sign anything that states I’m forced to have kids? I don’t remember that. And then there’s the “You’ll change your mind.”. Why do I have to change my mind? Just like every girl who wants to have children since they were kids, I DON’T want to have children since I was a kid. The majority of “moms to be” don’t change their minds so why should I?

I respect every girl that wants to be a mom, I want the same respect. I don’t think it’s fair for people to judge me or any girl in my situation because we have our own wishes for our lives. I’m selfish, I think I agree with that, but at least I’m responsible enough to admit that I am selfish and that I want to live my life for myself.



  1. The V-Pub · May 4, 2015

    Live and let live, right? I think it’s fine if you don’t want kids. I think that it’s fine if you do want kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. controversialcook · May 4, 2015

    That’s true . There are a lot of women nowadays that don’t want children and they should be free to so without being criticized. Besides nowadays raising a child or children is much more difficult than it used to be because it’s very expensive and demanding. All this said, however, in my experience I find that many of them will eventually regret and also that many of them when they get older turn into selfish, dotty spinsters because they never gave the affection and unselfishness associated with motherhood. It’s not a general rule of course and as for you, you may change your mind at some stage or you may not. Nobody can tell, not even you.


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