Society says that I have to have kids, I say I don’t want to.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in Portugal. Contrary to the States, we celebrate it on the first Sunday of May. I always had a problem with made up holidays but this one particularly bugs me. I never wanted to become a mother and because of that people think they have the right to lecture me.
I grew up as an only child until I was 9. My parents were constantly working and I didn’t spend that much time with them while growing up so I had to learn how to entertain myself. I would play alone with my Barbie dolls and watch Disney movies for hours. I was an easy and calm kid and I didn’t require a lot of attention. And then my baby sister was here. I quickly became her second mother because I was grown up and able to help my mom with everything she needed. I used to change diapers, feed her, play with her, pretty much everything since I was 10. When I was 15 I wanted to do what all 15 year olds do. And I could do it with only one exception, I had to take my sister with me. If I wanted to go the the mall my 6 year old sister had to go with me and the same would happen if I go to the beach. I was a mom at the age 10 and I still am today. I believe that’s one of the reasons I never wanted to have my own children. I know first hand how much work and responsibility it takes to be a mom.
Every time this topic comes in conversation I’m criticized. People say I shouldn’t say I don’t want kids, that there are a lot of people who want kids and can’t have their own and so long. How is that my problem? Just because I was born with a vagina I’m forced to pop out kids? Did I sign anything that states I’m forced to have kids? I don’t remember that. And then there’s the “You’ll change your mind.”. Why do I have to change my mind? Just like every girl who wants to have children since they were kids, I DON’T want to have children since I was a kid. The majority of “moms to be” don’t change their minds so why should I?
I respect every girl that wants to be a mom, I want the same respect. I don’t think it’s fair for people to judge me or any girl in my situation because we have our own wishes for our lives. I’m selfish, I think I agree with that, but at least I’m responsible enough to admit that I am selfish and that I want to live my life for myself.